Sew Yourself Shut • RSS • archive

Okay so it’s 12% now, obviously that title blew it away.

I thought too much today thanks to a lot of paracetamol and a sore throat.

Some moments that you don’t forget but push to the back of your mind for self-preservations sake.

Remember when you stood at the bar on that platform and everyone was stood in a circle but we hung back and just stared at each other?

We must have smiled a lot because I remember my cheeks flushed and aching a little. Maybe you were a little tipsy because I know you better now, you don’t really have that much confidence. Not when it comes to girls anyway.

I reached up and pushed your hair out of your eyes and you whispered;

“Your really cute, you know that?”

It might sound like a line but the way you looked kind of stunned you’d said it out loud made me look at the floor and rub the back of my neck before giving you a re-assuring smile.

I think it all went wrong from there.

From the way you thew an arm around my shoulder and grabbed my hand with your calloused thumb rubbing mine (I would later find out it was from playing your uncle’s classical guitar), to the way you walked away then turned on your heel halfway down the road, came back, grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek before running off like a little boy playing kiss chase. It was the most stomach churning time of my life.

I’m still chasing that feeling I think.

After you’d run away I stared at the gravel and whispered “fuck”.

I was right. It ended terribly, because it’s still open ended

As I write this I think about the way you smelt of liqourice and how you turned up that song in your car because you couldn’t say it out loud.